Is Poly For You? Probably Not. But Possibly, Maybe…

Just as a side note, my column on The Good Men Project is primarily going to be about polyamory, relationships, sex, motivation and things like this. If you want ALL of my writing, unfiltered, this is where you need to be. If you’re not interested in my writing, well then… Uh, don’t… read it? Go away already. 

Oddly enough, ever since I started writing about my experiences with poly and my marriage’s sojourn into that lifestyle, I have bee inundated with emails and comments asking for advice and just conversation about it. I don’t really understand this, as my experience with it in the married environment has been minimal, though my experience with it in a single mode, as well as taken-but-not-married mode is extensive. I must seem like I know what I’m talking about, and I do for the most part. The parts that I don’t are usually just extensions of my personal philosophy.

However, I never realized what a journey it was when you actually make the marital commitment. (Honestly, that can be said about 90% of my married life.) But, given my poly experience outside of marriage, I suppose it gives me an outlook that translates well to the marital theater, given that the requirements are essentially the same.

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Stop Settling, Your Happiness Is Worth More Than You Know

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” – Frank Herbert, Dune


You, reading this right now…

Why the fuck are you so afraid to go after the things that you want? Why are you so afraid?

Listen, I know you’re afraid, I know you’re scared. “What if I fuck it up?” “What if it is not what I wanted in the first place?” I know those fears, I used to have them myself. “If I go after this, my life will change forever.” “My husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend will leave me.” Believe me, I’m old friends with these fears.

I doubt you’ll read this. A busy life leaves very little time for reading articles posted by a bald writer who says the word “fuck” like it’s a god-damned comma. I get this, but I really hope you do read and absorb this. I hope it lights a fire under your ass and convinces you to choose to follow your heart and your own path.

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Resentment Abound, But It’s All Good…


So, some of my writing, by my publisher was deemed as a bit too aggressive and critical of Donald Trump, as a result, I’m going to put the political and ethical shit here. I’ll write for GMP all of my poly/self-help stuff. I can’t fault them for it. They don’t want to become like the other sites and want to keep to their own agenda.

I can respect that. However, my point of view is a bit different. GMP’s very slogan is “The conversation no one else is having.” What conversation is more important than this?!?!?! There is a narcissistic in the highest political office this country has to offer, intent on rescinding years of social justice, progress and civil rights, and they want to run articles on whether not it’s ethical for men to stay at home to raise their children.

Both topics are viable, but the first is a bit more important and REQUIRES IMMEDIATE RESISTANCE.

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I Am Where I Need To Be…

win_20161209_08_21_46_proThis morning before work, I am sitting at the kitchen table with snow around the house. Everywhere I look, I see an endless blanket of white and I can’t help but feel so incredibly peaceful. And I hate snow.

Lately, I have been giving a lot of thought to why I am here and to what I should be doing with my life. Sitting here with a cup of coffee in my hand, I can’t help but feel incredibly grateful for the opportunities given me. I have a chance to advance in my workplace, I have a chance to make people happy every single day I work. I have the most amazing wife a man could ask for, I have a child who’s face brightens up my day. Sure, there’s areas of my life that need to be stepped up on, but on the whole, I’d say I’m a pretty lucky guy. Continue reading “I Am Where I Need To Be…”

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Every Four Years, I Want to Go Into Hiding

I just can’t deal with this shit anymore. Every four years, I have to find on Facebook the worst of what everyone I know has to offer. I’m not talking about supporting one candidate over another, I’m talking about having the most inane and horrific reasons for supporting those candidates.

For example, the comments made in 2005 by Donald Trump, which are so callously accepted by people who support him, instead of the obviousness of the truth (namely that these things should be revolting to anyone of even slightly compromised morality) were dismissed by my father as “locker room talk”, the same thing that Trump himself has said. My father, my own goddamned father said that Muslims are the real threat. I responded that it was obvious he never studied it and that if he did he might realize that this religion is almost identical to his own.

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4 Things We Can All Learn From Bioshock

bioshock_seriesNote: By the way, Bioshock has been re-released as the Bioshock Collection, available now on Steam! Hell yes!

The last two weeks have been spent working and managing certain crises in my life, so when the chance to play video games by myself came about, I seized upon it like a fat kid attacking a chocolate cake with Cheeto frosting. I selected the first installment of Bioshock for PC, an amazing game. What can I say, I was in the mood for a slightly older game… While I really liked the idea of taking a shotgun to a bunch of spliced out freaks, what really impressed me was the depth of story behind it. It really went into the subject of free will and societal norms, which for me hit a very significant nerve. So, I compiled a list of 4 things we could all learn from “Bioshock”.

BTW, Spoiler city… You’ve been warned.

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Fucking Up and Making It Right

screamingIf you live long enough, you’ll find that you’ve hurt someone important to you. You may have done it purposely, you may have done it in reaction to some perceived insult, you may have done it inadvertently. You may even be doing it right now as I write this. The important thing is to apologize, and try to make it right. If you can’t make it right, then at least apologize. An apology may mean something to them, it might not.

Often we don’t take the time to think when we do things. We don’t consider the effect they have on others. Once in a while you’ll find out that something you said or have done in anger will be the catalyst for things never being the same again. You’ll fuck up and you’ll never be able to forgive yourself. Sometimes they won’t forgive you, and you’ll never get a chance to make things right. You’ll die a little inside, and you’ll never be able to get that piece of your heart back.

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Star Wars – A New Sith Lord

The ship eased out of imageshyperspace on the far side of Hutt Space in the Outer Rim. Ahead lay Nar Shadaa, and Nal Hutta glinting like brown and blue pearls in reflective starlight…

…and the prize one of them held.

The Force shall free me…

Jedi Knight Kel Sorran peered out of the viewport as the mottled stars became points of light floating before him. Letting out a deep breath, he keyed his communicator and entered his encryption code. If he sent a transmission so close to his objective unencrypted, his master would be quite displeased.

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Open Letter

My name is Donna. I’m a 30 year old woman who is happily married to an amazingly unusual man. This guy is my best friend and my soul mate, he truly is more to me than I can even possibly begin to find the words for. The one thing I can say for certain is that this man can find those buttons to push in a woman that drives her insanely wild. When I tell him that he is the only man for me, I very much mean that. And he knows this. I just don’t like men. Well attraction wise. With the exception of a few very select men but they don’t even hold a candle the the man that I have. But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate these men and that given the chance, I wouldn’t fuck them silly. Just saying.

I also have an beautiful and amanzingly sweet, loving and smart daughter who is also going through her terrible 2s-3s. My princess will be turning 3 in a matter of a couple of weeks and this blows my fucking mind. For I remember a time when we didn’t have her, yet I also have a hard time remember when she WASN’T here. I look forward to seeing the woman she will become and I have this feeling that so far we aren’t fucking this whole parenting thing up and I know that no matter what she will be a confident, kick ass, give them hell kind of woman. She will be the best parts of my husband and I, and she will also have our strengths so I wouldn’t stand in her way or fuck her over. It wont be pretty.

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My Friendship With Turquiose

*This one is about a relationship with a woman that I had, as I saw it. It isn’t meant to hurt or cause problems, again just reflecting on my end of the relationship.*

A while ago I made friends with this girl, we will call her “Turquoise”. I mean no offense to calling her a girl by the way. Fact of the matter is, I would never cause her harm and would never intend on hurting her feelings.

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